how are we today? I feel like I’ve had a really good productive day so far on this warm sunny Saturday. I had a lie in this morning and watched the latest episode of Ru Paul’s Drag Race first of all. Normally I write my blog post first thing on a Saturday morning but I really wasn’t feeling it as I woke up feeling a bit down. But drag queens soon perked me up and I suddenly had a burst of energy (thank you coffee) to tidy my room, do some dancing to cheesy pop songs and go for a run (in that order).
When on my run it got me thinking how much my moods are up and down recently. One minute I feel really low and need a little cry (I’ve cried quite a few times this week) and then the next minute I have a burst of creativity, positivity and energy to do something. This pandemic is definitely making me go crazy as I’m sure you all are too. But aside from the current situation we all face, this year has already been a tough one having lost my world aka my amazing Grandad back in January. While this pandemic is constantly in the fore front of my mind, I have to remind myself that I am still processing and dealing with the fact I lost someone so dear to me only 3 months ago.
It’s been a tough week for so many people and as the number of deaths just keep on rising it’s so difficult to stay positive. I’m now knowing people who have died or know people who have lost a loved one which is just so heartbreaking. If any of you reading this have recently lost someone then I am sending you ALL my love. You feel like your world has just ended first of all. You don’t see how you can ever carry on living life and you might feel guilty for doing so when they are gone but I promise you it gets a little easier bit by bit. People always say this (and I am no expert in dealing with grief) but it is true when they say they are never truly gone. I still talk to my grandad, looking up at the ceiling, and whether I believe in heaven or not, I know that he is looking down at me somehow and smiling. They are never truly gone as they live within us, in our likes and dislikes, mannerisms, in our heart and in our DNA. Take your time and you will get through this 😘
I like to think of myself as a positive person (majority of the time) and right now it’s even more important to try and stay positive. That doesn’t mean we have to always have it together 100% of the time. Like I said, I’ve definitely had some serious low points this week. But I have been making a list on my phone whenever I think of something positive that has happened recently and I thought I’d share it with you to maybe help you keep your spirits up or inspire you in some way.
My positive list so far …
1. The kindness of strangers and businesses right now. There are so many discounts for NHS workers which just shows the good in humanity and how we’re all in this together as one family (soooo cheesy but it’s true!). Also the amazing stories we’re all sharing. I read something the other day from before we were in lockdown where a young woman was opening up her shop (a local newsagents) when she spotted an older woman crying on the street as she couldn’t get any food at the supermarket. So this business owner quickly grabbed all this food from her own shelves and left it outside calling at the lady to pick it up and take it home, all for free. Stories like this just warm my heart so much.
2. How Instagram has changed or how we possibly feel towards it has. With all the influencers we follow having to stay inside at home, it’s changed what our feed looks like and we’re no longer getting that FOMO feeling or the longing to also be super tanned and living our best lives on a beach in the Maldives. It’s like a breath of fresh air for our minds.
3. All the free videos on social media that celebrities and businesses are sharing. For example, Antoni from Queer Eye (😍😍😍😍😍) is sharing free cooking videos. I mean what’s better than cooking delicious food and watching a super dishy (pun intended) man in a tight t-shirt (😉) at the same time?
4. The fact Sims 4 went on sale to only £8.99! I don’t know what I would do without the Sims right now 😂 I am totally living my best life through my characters! My boyfriend and I live in a gorgeous mansion with a swimming pool (yes of course I used ‘motherlode’ 😉) and have two perfect children. I keep giving my boyfriend updates about our ‘children’ and he’s loving it (NOT).
5. The fact I can really slow down and and focus on things that sometimes get pushed to the bottom of our to do list. Like exercising, our lives can get super hectic sometimes and exercising regularly can take a back step for a while. But with all this free time on our hands, I can really focus on my running, doing workouts in my bedroom and generally feeling, moving and loving (sometimes) my body.
6. The fact I have not worn a bra for 3 weeks! (Apart from the occasional sports bra). My boobs are having a great time and never felt so free!
7. Not wearing make up for 3 weeks either and feeling comfortable in my own skin. My skin is loving not getting on the tube every day and being blasted with hot pollution. I also have more time to do skin care routines, hair care and all of that self love kind of jazz.
8. Even though we don’t have a garden as I’m sure a lot of you don’t living in London, appreciating the amazing sunny weather we’ve had, even if it is only through a window. How many times in our lives do we actually stop, look up at the blue sky and appreciate it and the beauty in the world around us. Spring is truly here and I am loving seeing all the flowers out in bloom.
9. More time to read. You know how much of a book worm I am. Yesterday I finished a beast of a book that I have put off reading just because it is so big and heavy. But I am so glad I read it and WOW what an amazing story (see my post from two weeks ago for some book inspiration).
10. More time to just be creative. I get surges of inspiration and creativity sometimes but can’t always act on it. But now I have more time to paint, draw, write, take pictures etc.
I wanted to finish on an even number but I can’t forget the most important positive note which is more time to chat to our families and friends. I have never FaceTimed, ‘house partied’ and called everyone as much as I am now. Thank god for technology huh!
So that’s my list so far but I’m going to keep adding to it as the weeks go by. No matter what your situation is right now or your mood is currently, we’re all in this together girls. If you’re feeling really low then snuggle up and watch your favourite movie with a bowl of popcorn and don’t make yourself feel bad for not having a good day, there’s always tomorrow. If you feel like you’ve got the energy but still feeling sh*t then maybe try going for a run (even if it’s only for 10 minutes) I promise you’ll feel better afterwards. Or if you’re currently feeling good then remember that feeling, soak it all in and use it to your advantage to be productive at home.
Love to you all xxxxxxx