How are we doing today?
I must admit I’ve struggled a bit this week. Not sure why (maybe I’m due on?). But I’ve been quite emotional and struggled to get to sleep most nights. Mainly with thoughts of my loveable Grandad who passed away at the beginning of this year (not from Covid).
With everything that has happened over the past few months, I’ve been so preoccupied and worrying about other things that my grieving hasn’t been at the fore front of my mind as much. But as lockdown becomes the normal and we’re also starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I’m thinking about other things not just Coronavirus and my loss is becoming more prominent.
I’m generally a very positive person (check out my Instagram; itsagirlthing.net_) and try to be as much as possible in our current situation but every now and then I think it’s important to share, show, talk etc that life isn’t perfect and everyone has bad days.
I am sure there are some of you reading this right now that are also grieving with the loss of a loved one and if you are then I am truly sorry and wishing I could send you all my love. It’s a horrible thing to have to deal with. You feel like you can’t possibly carry on with life as normal (well not quite normal but you know what I mean) and sometimes don’t understand your feelings of anger. It’s not fair that they’ve gone. I remember when my Grandad first left back in January, I’d be walking down the street or watching tv and if I saw an old man just going about their business who looked clearly older than my Grandad, I would get this rising anger inside of me suddenly. I was so angry that they were alive and my Grandad was not. It’s horrible, I don’t want to be that person and I know that life doesn’t work that way but I just couldn’t help this anger. Obviously I would never say anything to said stranger but it’s not nice to know your mind is conjuring up negative thoughts like that.
So I am thinking of all of you that are going through the similar pain right now. We are all in this together girls and we’ll get through it ❤️
Anyway, I don’t want this weekend’s entire post to be negative as that’s not what I’m about.
So I wanted to share with you what positive things I’ve been thinking and doing this week…
I’ve been watching lots of Glee on Netflix. Not the first few series as they’re quite cheesy and I watched them when I was about 16 but the later few series are actually quite good! 😂 Definitely my guilty pleasure. Every time they break into song it lifts my mood and sometimes gets me up and dancing too (I am cringe and love it).
I’m still going for runs (although it’s been more of a struggle to get up and out this week). But I’ve started going for walks as well. I’ve been getting really restless achy legs from sitting down all the time so I’m going for walks early evening when it’s not busy, listening to a funny podcast and taking in and appreciating my surroundings.
I’ve been looking ahead more to the future and thinking about what I would like to do out of lockdown. We don’t know yet what the ‘coming out of lockdown’ plan is going to be. It sounds like it’s going to be staggered with some things closed for longer like pubs and restaurants. But at some point when things re-open I would like to…
1. Go to Nandos (pathetic but I bloody love a Nandos and it’s mine and my boyfriends cheap mid week date night sometimes).
2. Have a dinner party with friends. Just any excuse for a house party basically although at my age they are less mental rave type house parties. I think you’re supposed to call them drinks/dinner parties when you get to a certain age but they are basically all the same thing! I’ve already told my friends reasons to have 3 separate parties.
3. Go to my Granny’s house and give her the BIGGEST hug ever.
4. Get on a train for the day from London and go visit a new town. I’ve never been to Margate even though everyone raves about it in the city. I want to stuff my face with fish and chips and donuts and ice cream and sit on the beach (no matter how cold).
5. Then finally and the most important 😉 I CANNOT wait to go shopping. I don’t actually buy a lot of clothes (my boyfriend might say otherwise) I just mostly miss browsing through the shops and scouring through the vintage shops. I love trying on clothes for fun without actually buying anything. It’s some people’s worst nightmare but for me that’s a great day out!
Talking of shopping, I have been so good this past month while in lockdown and haven’t really bought much apart from a couple of beauty essentials and some bras (see my other post). Not spending money on transport either (or over priced fancy cocktails; my kryptonite) has meant I’ve saved quite a bit. Feeling pleased with myself as I am no way a saver when it comes to money.
But it has been a struggle to resit the temptations of all the emails I get from brands and all the bloggers videoing themselves wearing all the lovely new things they’ve been GIFTED (got to remind myself of that one sometimes). So I’ve been screenshot-ing anything I love and if I still love it months from now I am going to have a little celebratory out of isolation shopping spree (any excuse!). It’s also going to be my wish list for my birthday next month.
See below what I have been screenshot-ing recently…
So many great things! But I’m not actively encouraging you to go shopping, just on a side note. It’s a real delicate subject right now when people have lost their jobs or have been furloughed with less money coming in and I totally get that.
So I hope you’re doing okay girls, no matter what your situation is. If you’re feeling a bit down this week like me then let’s have a lazy weekend, stay in our pj’s, eat all the food in the fridge and put on our favourite uplifting cheesiest movie to cheer ourselves up!
Shout out to all our key workers as well who are possibly working this weekend! We love you! ❤️
Lots of love girls and let’s keep on smiling xxxx